Xaander

Just returned Stateside after living in Ukraine for two years for Peace Corps. Ukrainian and Russian boys are nice, but it's gooooood to be home....


I'm a dynamic individual, often seen scaling walls and leaping tall buildings in a single bound. In my spare time, I enjoy roughing the lofty mountains in northern Illinois, namely Starved Rock, without rope or that other sissy equipment. I once warded off an entire militia of rabid fire ants using only a garbage can lid and a hoe, thereby saving an entire frightened community of senior citizens. I can cook minute rice in 30 seconds, I've translated the Dead Sea Scrolls in an hour, and I hold the record for the "fastest weaver" in the competitive sport of underwater basket weaving. I often swim among dolphins and other vicious marine life in uncontrolled environments such as Sea World. I have a passion for skydiving and often prove my skills by jumping off the towering precipice that distends my second story home. Surfing is also a past time I recently picked up, and I never get frightened of the "giant wave" when my local pool turns the wave machine to full blast. Last year I cooked a ten-course meal for the British Royal Family utilizing only my culinery expertise and my EZ Bake Oven. My heros include Charlie Chaplin, Mary Poppins, Chili Willie the Penguin, and other celebrities who can do fancy tricks with umbrellas. I've figured out the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. But I've never met a dynamic man over the internet.